Sunday, March 7, 2010

A Round of Golf

Have you ever tried the game of golf? It's not easy. You watch them on tv and it seems so easy to step up to the tiny ball, swing the large club in your hand and whack the ball as far as you can. Well, it's not. For some reason, the ball never goes the direction you'd like and then all those years of putt-putt are rendered useless, because there's no large pinwheel and a house with bumpers when it's time to putt in golf. Just a hole, and it's easier to miss it than you'd think. And on golf courses you gotta worry about water and sand and wind and distance and blah, blah, blah. That's why I prefer to ride in the golf cart and drink beer...or just stay home and drink beer! Well, whatever your stance on golf is, I suggest you get out this summer and play a round...remembering to let others "play through" so you can enjoy turning a par 3 hole into a par 13!

There were a lot of naked people at the gym this afternoon. I don't know what it was, but around every corner in the locker room was a naked lady. I kept my eyes averted, but I still knoew they were naked. In the steam room, some lady was practically laid out with nothing but a towel between her and I. Then she started talking to me...thank goodness for all the steam to block my view of her womanhood. She's probably writing on her blog that some strange girl was in the steamroom with her shirt, shorts, and shoes on! So sue me...I like to keep my girly parts all to myself!

The Oscar's are tonight! I hope most of you are excited. It's the one night a year when all those movies you never saw throughout the past year win all kinds of awards for things you never saw. And all those movies you watched and LOVED don't win a thing except a quick nod or mention in someone's speech about how honored they were to be in the same category as you. And as much as you wanted to see the movies that win something, you probably will never see it because if it does win a big award then it won't come out on DVD for another 3 months, then you'll forget about it because you'll be off watching a movie that won't win any awards next year. Oh, what a vicious cycle! But we still watch because we pray deep deep down that our favorite actress, actor, and picture will win, and if for some reason they do, we tell everybody "I KNEW IT!" Or we just comment on the dresses or outfits, upset that Lady GaGa won't be there to obstruct someones view with one of her head cases...I mean pieces! Now that I've said all that, pop your popcorn because they start in just over an hour!



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